well, i'm feeling pretty crappy right now.. of course there's really no need for the world to know that.. i just felt like updating this journal despite the current mood, so there's a combination from hell right there.
i'm wondering why can't good things ever go smoothly. i mean, isn't it just weird how bad things have a way of unraveling with no greater difficulties while you have to grind your way through shit just to get to the good stuff? and somehow, instead of helping you through that shit, people like to push you back. quite weird.
anyway, what's all the whining about? nothing special. it's just money. i'd like to face the person who claims it has no say in this world; i think i'd throw a punch or two. as a person who never had much of it, i think i can safely claim that it does have some frickin' importance >.<
so, here's the question: should i take the money together with the (pointless) weight of guilt and go to the seaside to see my best friend whom i haven't seen in a while, or should i just leave it and not give anyone a chance to say, "if only we didn't give that money then, we wouldn't now..."?
it was really a rhetorical question.
i've already decided.
i'm leaving it. and i'm staying in this shit of a town, to rot away in front of my computer. i feel like crap, but hey! at least my conscience is clear...

of course, there's always the next summer, not to mention that in 4 years, when i graduate, i'll have my OWN salary, and i will answer to NO ONE. what a life that will be.

right now, there's bleach.

cheers,
Joy


love goes out to

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